(Sally, unless you enjoy the gratuitous use of the f-word, I don’t recommend reading this one)
As I wrote a few weeks ago, I have been going through one of the toughest periods of my life, and through all that has been happening I have continued to stay strong and not drink, even though that has proven to be the biggest challenge. The challenge has been so difficult at times, but my desire to not let people down who have supported my sobriety has been so strong the honest to god thought that killing myself would be less of a let down than going out and drinking crossed my mind. It was at this point I began to sit back and take a look at my life.I began talking to many people about my mental state and slowly I began to take pieces from what each of them were saying in order to reevaluate my life, and begin the healing process I was facing. Continue reading Self-Worth
(Sally: Don’t read this. You will be sorely disappointed with the language, even though i already told you this story.)
(For those of you aren’t into reading, I recorded an audio version embedded at the bottom)
A month and a half ago my life was pretty good. It wasn’t at any point the greatest in my memory, nor was it at any point truly worth complaining about. I had a large group of friends, a great job and was starting something with a beautiful, if not eclectic, woman. From an outsider’s perspective, it would have appeared that Matt had the perfect life and, in all honesty, I would have seen the same thing. In the words of my favorite artist, Frank Turner, “just give me one fine day of plain sailing weather and I can fuck up anything.” Continue reading Plain Sailing Weather
Currently I am sitting at my job, wishing I was at a coffee shop, stewing in the unending mess that is my head after a break up. My mind is racing at about a 1000 words a minute, but I am going to attempt to put some of these thoughts down here in a cognitive way that will explain where I am mentally, while also telling you all another heart wrenching story about my life that changed the way I view relationships, friendships, and how to approach dealing with a break up. Here is the often heard of, but never truly discussed break up with Becky Gorman and how Ben Folds has a special place in my heart. Continue reading Break Ups, Ben Folds, and Realizing Life Is Worth Living
(Sally: I would recommend not reading this, but there is nothing offensive in it…I believe.)
In my younger years, when I was still too young to realize that heartbreak fades, when I thought the scars from my very short list of lost loves would forever be on display to any of my future lovers, I decided to be another 90s kid who put his voice out there by making a magazine; mine was called “The Subterranean.” While the magazine only had one issue (and only about 20 copies of it printed), it was a moment in my life when I was proud of something I had created. Continue reading Broken Hearts and Reincarnation
Here I sit in the Frothy Monkey in the 12 South district of Nashville, just down the street from the restaurant where I arguably spent most of my time during the years I lived in this fantastic city. It was in this coffee shop I sat down and decided that if I was going to make it in this world as a writer I was going to have be dedicated to my craft. I couldn’t continue to find excuses on why I couldn’t write today. I had to find the dedication to take the time to pull out my laptop and type, even if it was only a few words. There were definitely days when I would write 100 words and just be over it, but at least I remained dedicated to the one activity I always cared about.
(To all of those out there reading this: One, Sally feel free to read this one. I don’t think there is too much in it that will upset you. Two, my editor took a few liberties in the editing process and I only recently discovered them. I left them for posterity sake though)
Many people have found that one of the negatives of growing up is you tend to grow apart from the friends you made as a child. It makes sense if you think about it; people change, move, get married, have kids, grow up, grow old, grow apart, get sick, and die. It is one of the negatives of aging. As a child the world is an endless array of possibilities. The person you ride bikes with down to the 7-11 to grab Slurpees, even though your parents told you not to go there without them, will one day have his or her own life across the country only to be heard from occasionally on social media. (Only a short 10 years ago or so, even this wasn’t possible, and the only way to know where someone ended up was through rumors and local lore with tales starting with, “Did you hear where Kat went?”). Fortunately for me, even with all of the crusades I ventured on, the many times I decided it was time to pack my bags and head to a different part of this globe, I am lucky enough to have one friend (this is not a retelling of the story of my best friend, so please continue before growing bored and assuming I have run out of wonderful tales to tell) who, through all of the hurdles Life put in our way, has remained one of the lynchpins of my existence.