(Sally: I would recommend not reading this, but there is nothing offensive in it…I believe.)
In my younger years, when I was still too young to realize that heartbreak fades, when I thought the scars from my very short list of lost loves would forever be on display to any of my future lovers, I decided to be another 90s kid who put his voice out there by making a magazine; mine was called “The Subterranean.” While the magazine only had one issue (and only about 20 copies of it printed), it was a moment in my life when I was proud of something I had created. Continue reading Broken Hearts and Reincarnation
Writer’s note: Some people doubt the validity of this story, but trust me, everything I talk about here honestly and truly happened.
Like many other people in this world, as I approached my thirtieth birthday, I slowly began to realize my life wasn’t anywhere close to where I wanted it to be. I was Matt Wright. I was not supposed to be in the situation I was in. I was supposed to be a well-known writer, as well as an exceptionally popular socialite who people enjoyed having at parties. I was not supposed to be a failing real estate agent who was slowly losing his house and struggling with the fact that, not only was he single but, the last girl he thought he was dating had been with someone else the entire time. (Thank you, Julie.) I was supposed to be a member of the elite. I was supposed to be better than everyone else because, let’s face it, I am better than everyone else. Struggling with all of these different aspects of my life, I also started thinking about leaving the DC area because I was tired of dealing with its fake, plastic, hypocritical demeanor. Nevertheless, I was still there and about to celebrate my thirtieth birthday.
Continue reading The Perfect Storm
(Sally, just skip this. Just don’t even read this. Don’t even think about this one. This above all else. Since I know you have ignored my other warnings and just won’t admit it to me, trust me, don’t read this. You don’t want any of this in your head. Please, please, please do not ignore this warning)
For anyone else who is still reading this story I will warn you this is a little graphic (not 50 Shades of Bullshit graphic, but graphic). Also this story is exceptionally embarrassing for not only myself but the other person involved with the very important life lesson that is set forth. As per usual I will be changing her name to protect her identity and I do hope if she ever reads this story she will forgive me for telling this story because as hilarious as I found it she did not want this story to come out. She and I are not very close anymore and I’m certain that she already hates me so I may as well go for gold on this one. Please enjoy our pain. Continue reading The Third Rule I have Learned From My Failed Relationships
(*Sally this is mostly readable, per Carter, but not entirely since the story you heard had some very edited lines. So when you get to quotations proceed with caution*)
As I regularly talk about, I enjoy the occasional (multiple and daily) drink. Although that didn’t become a regular thing in my life until I was a few years past my 21st birthday. I wasn’t a fan of the taste of beer, liquor, or anything really. I was, on the other hand, a huge fan of smoking pot. This probably explains why I wasn’t a huge drinker at the time. I would get high, then I would sit on the couch, debating whether or not I should go to the store to get beer, or if I should just sit there playing Tony Hawk on my PlayStation. Tony Hawk won on a regular basis.
I do remember one day I was “in the mood to drink” and on my way home from work I picked up a case of Corona. I still had that case a month later with only three out of the almost pristine packaging. Obviously, I was not a huge drinker at the time.
Continue reading My First Jack and Coke